Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
