Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
