he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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