i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
