i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I wear drunk well.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
