I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize