She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
