i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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