my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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