where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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