perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Randomize
