It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
