The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
