I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
