So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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