I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
