Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Farmville is her only friend.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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