All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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