Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
