but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
