Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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