How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
