you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
And then the night went full on bisexual.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
