I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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