She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
