Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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