I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
