WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
