I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
