1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
