Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
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