I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
