loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
