trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
