I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I DEMAND FORESKIN
You left your phone here
Wait...
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