I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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