We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
