and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
