Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I party with great urgency now.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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