Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
