I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Dignity is for republicans.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
