Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
where does the pee come out of this thing
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
