just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
