I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
