You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
