Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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