I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
