she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
