Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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