You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
