now i know why i became what i already was.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
