We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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