apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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