its not stalking. its research.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
