you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
