You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
