kristin has been a bad kristin
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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