He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
We had sex on a dog bed..
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
