I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
