thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
sarcasm needs its own font
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
