i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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