i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
