Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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