Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize