week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
