Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
