so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
